I sleep too much and still feel tired. I generally hate the taste of soda, but Coke is tight if my stomach is lame. I'm so sick of being called cute, but I know that's all that I am. I really hate being cold, but not as much as I hate being hot.I seriously beg the Gods for time to myself, but when the time comes I hate it. I love night so much more than day, but I get scared of the dark more now than ever. I don't eat enough, but I'm never hungry. Or maybe I'm always hungry, and I just got used to it. I hate looking like shit, but I find myself looking more like it everyday. I don't ever have clothes to wash because I usually stay in sweats and pajamas. I hate feeling rushed, but I end up doing my best work under a deadline. I've got hopes and dreams that are so far out of reach, but I never stop reaching. I'm going to laugh when my arms finally fall off. My back always hurts, but I can't figure out why. I always fall asleep the exact same way, and if I don't, it's certain that I'll wake up. I don't sleep well if I don't tell certain people goodnight. I lash out at the ones I love when I'm stressed/sad/mad/or any other form of negative emotion, but I just want them to tell me everything will be alright. I crack my knuckles because it makes me feel less stressed, and yes, I know my hands are going to look like shit when I'm older. I don't have any patience for shit that has little relevance. I get frustrated easily and out of nowhere. I hold my pen weird, and it makes my hand hurt from constantly taking notes, but it's the only way I can remember shit. I only write in blue ink, and I can go through three pens a week. Why blue? I have no idea. I think it looks better.
I'm usually the one keeping an eye out for everybody, but I still manage to have a good time. I've finally gotten back into watching CNN like it's going to be pulled off the air at any minute, and it justs furthers my disgust for the human race. I have a constant disappointment for our generation, and the generations before us. And I pray for the ones coming after us.
I have no trouble admitting shit that's weird about me.
I have a pretty wonderful boyfriend. I love with my whole entire heart nowadays, and it's really the only thing I'm sure of. I'm pretty happy with where things are going.
I'm surrounded by amazing people, and I have no idea how I continue to be blessed. Lately, I've been floored by the amount of love that I receive on a daily basis. I am beyond thankful for the family I've got. I'm completely obsessed with my sister. Just seeing her immediately brightens my day. She's such an awesome little person.
Right, I have no idea where this was supposed to go. But, uh.
Bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment